My vicious cycle....Thus the day starts 9-10 WIP, 1020-1100 Account D meeting, 1100-1300 clearing emails, 1300-1400 lunch, 1400-1600 Account W & F crisis clearance, reporting to Account G, 1630 cleared crisis W, 1700-1800 updating on all status, 1800-1900 updating all social media projects.. 1900-1930 trying to do more but crashed. 1930-2000 waiting for colleagues for dinner and drinks. 2030 ended up in robertson quay for food and drinks plus bitching and some shitting escapism, 0000 home& gonna shower.

We eat less to make it thru the day, we are not okay.

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.” ~ Paulo Coelho


Hey y'all,



2009 is quickly coming to an end and I gotta say, in my 32 years of life, I have never wanted to say goodbye to a year so badly. This year has been painful for me. I was humbled and taken down to my knees, and not in a good way! LOL This time last year, I left a $21/hour job and have since been unemployed, hoping to find a job in social services. My next job WILL be in social services/public health and I am not settling for anything else. I barely have money these days, but I won't be like so many of my friends = bored and jaded at a job they hate. I know I will look back on this year with gratitude in the new year, thankful for the struggle and will see how much stronger I am because of it. Now, let's get to the good stuff. There were 3 significant things that I consider "Best" that happened to me personally, plus a few books, albums and movies that I loved! Let's start with my 3 best!



Despite the financial hardship of 2009, I will NEVER forget my June in San Francisco. It was only 4 short weeks, but I swear to God it felt like a lifetime. It will hold me for now. As much as I like Vancouver, it will never be home. My heart belongs to San Francisco and has since I was a teen. I plan to settle in SF, one day. I am waiting for the right time, right situations. I know I can't just run off there, with no plan. Anyways, June was my favorite month of all 2009. I first went to SF in 2008 and got working for Brandon & Jacque (pictured above) @ Dept. of Public Health. I got some work from them in June as well. I hope to work for them, long term, when I do move back to SF.

I also got the chance to spend all of June on my social best. I had been able to connect and meet so many SF friends from Facebook so along with seeing friends like David, Alan and others I met in '08, I met so many new friends, most noteably, Ryan & Ernesto. I hope my friendship with them continues to grow. They have been there for me, like true friends. They make me love San Francisco even more. June in San Francisco = the best trip I took in 2009!




There have been days this year, where I didn't think I wanted to get out of bed. All I want is to find meaingful work in social services. My plans are to go to college next September to study Child & Youth Care, but in the meantime, I must find meaningful work, that is my only goal. I did find something rewarding this year. I started volunteering @ Covenant House Vancouver in August 2009. My volunteer work has amplified my desire to become a youth worker and I have dedicated my life to working in social services. I love the youth and I love every Friday when I go in to volunteer. I just recently applied for an office admin job there. It would be a dream come true to get a paid job there, so my fingers are crossed! This volunteer work has been my saving grace, in many ways!




I finally got my own place, after 12 years of roommates. I have always wanted to live alone, but finally in October 2009 I got my wish. It is a small, yet very cozy place, in Vancouver's West End (the best neighborhood in Vancouver)! It feels like my own and this makes a world of difference. I love being in my own space, no roommates and total privacy. It is my own little private safe haven away from the world. I've been on government assistance since April. My rent is $560/month and they only give us $610/month so things are tight, but I wouldn't give up my place for the world. I still feel pretty lonely in Vancouver. I am just not connecting with this city, even after 12 years. I know its cuz a big part of me will always be in SF, but for now, I am so, so, so grateful I have my own place to call home.



With all my unemployment time, I spent many hours walking through nearby Stanley Park and it has brought me many moments of peace in this rough year.


Here are the best books, movies and music that I loved in '09. Note: some items on this list came out before 2009, but if I discovered and loved them this year, they are here!





I loved these books. I loved the movie Precious, which was based on the above book called 'Push' by Sapphire. It was a good year for reading!





I saw a lot of movies @ home w/ money being tight. My ex taught me the fine art of downloading movies for free. These were my faves though, espcially (again) Precious!







I am a big 'singles' guy. I like one song by an artist, but perhaps not their whole album. For example, Precious movie inspired a single by Mariah Carey called '100 Percent'. That song so touched me. Also, after 10 years, Sade is releasing a new album in February 2010. Her first single Solider of Love rocks my world so I include it here. I can't wait for her whole album in 2010!

So there you have what I was most entertained by in 2009. I am so joyously hopeful for 2010 and the NEW decade that is beginning. I feel 2010 will see me becoming very successful and even more stable. What I hope most for is a settling down in San Francisco, but we shall see what the new year brings. As always, comments are welcome! O..one last thing. This was my Asian hottie (filipino star, Joem Bascon) for the year! hehehe xo ~ T.

To fall for one who is rich for one who is poor for one is is not very rich nor very poor. To fall I fell but up I walked once and once again. The city is ever changing, I am ever changing. To be not very rich to be rich. I walk and walk again.

By Nicholas Deroose

I like to think that I have a better chance of riding a unicorn than meeting a gay Republican. Because in today’s world of political polarization, there is no middle ground, if you are gay then you’re a Democrat and if you are not pitching for the blue team certain social exile awaits. In his book, The Big Sort, Bill Bishop explains how and why America has become a country of political extremes. Bishop explains that the phenomenon of “assortative migration”, whereby people move to neighborhoods of similar political leanings, breeds homogenous thinking. This concept of ‘group think’ suppresses different viewpoint and is similar to the concept of the ‘tyranny of the majority’ that De Tocqueville wrote about. If the predictions of De Tocqueville in the 1800s are coming true what does this mean for the future of American democracy?

When selecting a place to live we want to be as comfortable as possible. We want to live in a neighborhood that provides us the luxuries that we desire. Whether it is escape from the chaos of the city or easy access to public transportation we have a certain list that we go through before settling down. The politics of the neighborhood, how Republican or Democratic, have also become a consideration for people’s choice of settlement. But this was not always the case. “In 1976, Okanogan County in Washington had split fifty-fifty race between Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford.” “In 2000, 68 percent of Okanogan County voted for George W.Bush.”(Bishop 20). People used to live in politically mixed neighborhood but this is not the case now.

What people don’t realize is that the best prisons are the ones that are most comfortable. This sort of geo-political segregation breeds group thinking. During groupthink, members avoid expressing views that are outside the comfort of the consensus. By moving themselves into these politically homogenous neighborhoods, people feel comfortable in their similar views but however box themselves into a surrounding of homogenous thinking. The dangerous of groupthink is that it discourages discussion and creative thinking. “the most profound insight of the men who framed the Constitution “was to see heterogeneity as a creative force which would enable people not to hate each other but to think more productively what might be done to solve problems.” (Bishop 72) How can we expect to debate and come up with the best solution when our views are all the same?

De Tocqueville wrote that Americans rather be equal in slavery than to compromise on their notions of ‘equality’. “There is, in fact, a manly and lawful passion for equality which excites men to wish all to be powerful and honored. This passion tends to elevate the humble to the rank of the great; but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level, and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom.” (De Tocqueville 53) This lack of comprise and groupthink also leads to extremism. Known as the “risky shift phenomenon’, the phenomenon shows that over time groups become more extreme in the direction of the average opinion of individual group members. “Like-minded groups create a kind of self-propelled, self-reinforcing loop. Group members send signals bolstering existing beliefs as they all vie to stand out as the most Republican or most Democratic in the group. And that sets off a new round of unspoken competition.” (Bishop 69) When people are in like-minded groups they feel safe enough to take their views in the extreme end of the average. “Mixed company moderates; like minded company polarizes.” (Bishop 68)

It is this polarization that forces certain demographics out of politics. Gay Republicans are on the verge of extinction because the majority of the gay community is so left-leaning and by being anything other than Democratic is a sure way to be excluded from the next holiday party. Sure, the majority of Republicans don’t support gay rights but that is not all that they stand for. We have picked out a few controversial issues such as gay rights and abortion to represent entire parties. By focusing on being one issue parties, people blanket over the stances of the party over other issues such as taxation and education.

One example of why it is important that we have gay people on both ends of the political spectrum is the current debate over the US military’s policy on gays in the military. The current policy of “Don’t ask, don’t tell” excludes openly gay people from serving in the military on the grounds that it affects ‘team cohesion’. This policy has no scientific evidence to back it up and is based on fear and ignorance. However, gay people who support the repeal of the law are also forgetting that by doing so they are supporting a pro-war stance. Their intentions of LGBT equality are good but do not take into account the entire voice of the LGBT community. There are people in the gay community that do not want gay people to serve in the military because they are anti-war altogether. They do not see allowing gays to serve in the military in line with the overall progressive stance of the LGBT community because war uses a large amount to the country’s resources to wage war against others. The LGBT community has been so focused on the repeal of discriminatory laws that they have completely excluded voices from the other end of their own community. The example exhibits tension between two agendas of the LGBT community, equality and social justice, whereby on one hand the community argues that gays should be allowed to serve in the military if they chose to do so and the other is campaigning for a boarder view against war entirely. This is not unusual in a debate but however the difference is that one voice is overwhelmingly louder than the other and has dominated the debate over the issue within the same party. De Tocqueville explains how the collective interest and opinions can dominate the entire conversation without leaving room for debate. “In democratic States organized on the principle of American republics, this is more especially the case, where the authority of the majority is so absolute and so irresistible that a man must give up his rights as a citizen, and almost abjure his quality as a human being, if he intends to stray from the track which is lays down.” (De Tocqueville 271) James Madison similarly also agreed that it was important to guard against the omnipotence of the majority. “It is of great importance in a republic to guard against not only the oppression of its rulers, but to guard one part of the society against the injustice of the other part.” (De Tocqueville 304). This is what De Tocqueville referred to as the tyranny of the majority. Debate over LGBT issues have been reduced to shouting matches where only the loudest are heard.

Another danger tyranny of the majority brings is that the Democratic Party has now taken the gay vote for granted. Because the LGBT community has been so consistent with their voting patterns, Democrats know they will not vote Republican because why would they? The Republicans are the ‘enemies’ of the gay community. This has allowed the Democratic to hold on to the gay vote without coming through with their promises to the community. After electing the president of hope President Obama, many people in the gay community looked to him to come through with some of the promises that he made during his campaign, such as the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and amendments to national AIDS/HIV policies. While outwardly the president appears to be supportive of the gay cause, by attending dinners and making speeches, actually concrete action has not been taken and this has left many gay voters disillusioned. The recent vote to allow same-sex marriages in the state of New York actually showed some Democrats voting against the bill! The fear now is that if the Democratic Party does not provide the change that is needed who will? Gay voters have essentially trapped themselves within one party and elections have become nothing more than a song and dance routine with false promises and no actual result. Gay people in America are still second-class citizen in their own country because despite having made gains in visibility, the acceptance of gay people is based on the acceptance by straight America rather than civil equality. (Vaid 6)

So what does this mean for the future of democracy in America? One prediction could be that gay people would be so frustrated with the Democratic Party that they would stop voting altogether, this would leave a huge gap in the voting population for the Republicans to sway over. However, they would have to balance its new stance with the already ultra conservative voices in their party. Another prediction could be that if the majority continues to dominate the discussion then America would cease to be a democracy where you would only have one party in power and trying to get a foot into the door would be near impossible, very much like how it is in Singapore whereby the country is only democratic in name because the same party has been in power for the last 40 years. The only reason why the country has not erupted in riots is because protesting is illegal.

America is becoming a country divided in politics and when the middle ground collapses, so will democracy.













Works Cited:
Bishop, Bill, and Robert Cushing. The big sort. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2008. Print.

Tocqueville, Alexis, and Henry Reeve. Democracy in America. Bantam Classics, 2000. Print.

Vaid, Urvashi. Virtual equality. Anchor, 1996. Print.

Thanks to natlegin

http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=t8pIx6BtZ141wM70zcXlZgg&single=true&gid=1&output=html

SG-iPhone-priceplans : Price comparisons
.

Telco Starhub Singtel M1 Starhub Singtel M1 Starhub Singtel M1 Starhub Singtel M1
.

Plans 3G SmartSurf 100 iFlexi Lite New! iPhone Value 3G SmartSurf 300 iFlexi Value iPhone Lite 3G SmartSurf 700 iFlexi Plus iPhone Extreme 3G SmartSurf Unlimited iFlexi Premium iPhone Unlimited
.

Monthly Fee (w/GST) $38 $39 $36 $58 $56 $56 $98 $95 $98 $205 $205 $198
.

Voice credit (mins) 100 100 100 300 200 300 700 500 700 2000 1500 Unlimited
.

SMS/MMS credit 500 500 500 500 500 500 500 500 500 2000 1500 Unlimited
.

Data credit (GB) 1 500MB 10 1 1 10 1 2 Unlimited Unlimited 3GB Unlimited
.

iPhone 3GS 16GB $538 $548 $518* $268 $288 $248* $0 $0 $0 $0 $0 $0
.

iPhone 3GS 32GB $668 $678 $658 $418 $438 $398 $108 $138 $98 $0 $0 $0
.

iPhone 3G 8GB $388 $398 $398 $118 $138 $98 $0 $0 $0 $0 $0 $0
.

.

Information updated 7 December 2009. Items in RED indicates "best" value
.

* $0 if signed up with M1's Take 3 plan http://www.m1.com.sg/take3
.

compiled by @iheartapple

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond your grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”

Hey y'all,




This is what I most want for Christmas & the new year, decade beginning in a few short weeks. I pray for change in 2010! 2009 seems like a lost cause. I have felt like I have been stuck in quicksand all year, despite attempting to free myself. I feel I am slipping below the surface. I have never felt so alone & hopeless. I just want to die, tired of my ego running my life into the ground. I have been humbled and taken down to my knees.....................

i need more units.

more is good.

"Remember the light is born every day, with tidings of comfort and joy." ~ Tori Amos


Hey y'all,



Welcome to the merry month of December. I hope everyone reading enjoys the festive season. I was hoping I would have good news re: employment, but alas, its been almost 1 year (minus the 1 month in San Francisco) since I last had a full time job and there aren't any opportunities that I can speak of at the moment. One can always hope though. I am looking for a position somewhere that has meaning for me like a social service agency or the like. It is worth the wait and I won't settle for less. I do have exciting news about a christmas wish I made a little while ago. Wishes do come true!



I have been in love with San Francisco since I first went there in May '08. What I wanted most was to spend this Christmas & New Years Eve there and thanks to a friend, my dream is coming true. Life in Vancouver is pretty boring and uneventful. I can't seem to connect with people here. I wanted to spend my holidays in a city that makes me come alive, where I seem to easily connect with friends and fun activities. I plan to make San Francisco home, one day, perhaps sooner rather then later. I've known since I was 17 that I would settle down in California. I hold to that dream. I am so looking forward to Christmas now. One of my favorite holidays! As this new month begins, I take a minute to pay tribute to World Aids Day.



A friend of mine, who I had been intimate with years ago told me a few weeks ago that he found out he is HIV+. It reminded me to get my yearly test. I found out today, fitting enough that I am still HIV-. I am thankful for my good health and well being. I pray for those who have lost loved ones or perhaps are challenged by this dis-ease. We will find a cure, one day. Safe sex is good sex! hehe I finished up the month of November by finally watching the movie 'Precious'. I posted this note on Facebook so am pasting it here. It was an awesome movie!



Based on the novel, Push by Sapphire, Precious set in Harlem, an overweight, illiterate teen who is pregnant with her second child is invited to enroll in an alternative school in hopes that her life can head in a new direction.Claireece Precious Jones endures unimaginable hardships in her young life. Abused by her mother, raped by her father, she grows up poor, angry, illiterate, fat, unloved and generally unnoticed. So what better way to learn about her than through her own, halting dialect.

I cried during this movie, because it touches the human spirit for anyone who has been through challenges, but hopes for a better tomorrow, a better path. I, myself grew up in a middle class family but was sexually abused by my cousin and also know what its like to be homeless and in poverty, in fact I am still even now, trying to find my way. All these experiences in my life have been "my practicum" for my career in social services. I don't regret a single thing I've experienced, for it makes me a richer human being.

I had a chance to first read the novel Push before watching the movie. The book & movie have some differences. They are both raw and very emotional. In some ways, I liked the book a bit more, because it felt more drawn out for me. I felt the essence of the book while watching Precious, so I am glad the spirit of it can still be felt. Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe who played Claireece Precious Jones and Mo'Nique who played her mother Mary gave Oscar worthy performances. The whole cast was great. Paula Patton who played Ms. Rain, Precious' teacher was warm and kind, like the kind of social worker I hope to be. Even Mariah Carey touched me with her performance. I also loved Precious' classmates.

If you need some healing in your life, a good cry or just a brilliant movie, go see 'Precious'. You will walk out of there truly feeling that no matter what life throws at you, you are much stronger deep down in your spirit then you can even imagine. * * * * 4 stars!

It touched me. I look forward to a prosperous, fun-filled December. It has always been a good social month. I hope to blog all about the good news and hope to have employment news this month! Happy December! Laters ~ T.